Ted

Max Burkholder

John Bennett

Alanna Ubach

Susan Bennett

Scott Grimes

Matty Bennett

Giorgia Whigham

Blaire Bennett

Seth MacFarlane

Ted (voice)

Ara Hollyday

Andrew

Liz Richman

Polly

Marissa Shankar

Sarah

Penny Johnson Jerald

Principal Bernard

Charly Jordan

Sheila Borgwort

Ian McKellen

Narrator (voice)

Gail Goldberg

Gert Fechko

Erin Moore

Jessica

Julius Sharpe

Mr. George / Phone Voice (American Airlines) (voice) / Wardrobe Assistant #2 (V.O.) (voice)

Francesca Xuereb

Erin

Don Lake

Bert

Jack Seavor McDonald

Clive

Chelsea Davison

Brenda / Nurse (voice)

Evan Hannemann

Sean

Dana Gould

Priest

Danny Jolles

Will

Rachael MacFarlane

Operator / Pre-Recorded Voice On Phone (voice)

Tim Russ

ER Doctor

Michael Gunning

Cameron

Mike Henry

Bank Employee

Milan Anderson

Cupcake

Shannon Dee

Peaches

Claire Dellamar

Beef Stroganoff

Alexander G. Eckert

Kyle

Arthur Gazarian

James

John Viener

Dr. Frankel

Audrey Wasilewski

Muriel

Kelsey Peterjohn

Employee

Walker Satterwhite

Kid

Danny Smith

Anesthesiologist (voice)

Dustin Wayne

Mike

Jacob Zelonky

Derek

Marc Jablon

Restaurant Manager

JD Cullum

Lloyd

Chris Coppola

Video Store Clerk

Tom Costello

Coach

Jim Kane

Video Store Clerk

Connor Keene

Waiter (Kevin)

Julie Burrise

Porn Star Girl

Austin Nash Chase

Basketball Player (Hampton)

James Coker

Middle-Aged Guy

Preston García

Rusty

Harrison Harvey

Waiter (Brad)

Liam Manfredonia

Porn Star Guy

Paul Vato

Lonely-Looking Dude

Brendan Jennings

Ostrich Owner

Josh Stamberg

Professor Lucas Damon

Aiden Arnold

Scott Hamilton Kid

Reyna Calvillo

Paige

Damian Cecere

Irish Springs Announcer

Indiana Elle

Belle Kid

Cash Handal

Barney Kid

Dean Hermansen

Sixteen-Year-Old Boy

Mara Hernandez

College Girl #3

Courtney Lin

College Girl #2

Sarah Jane MacKay

Alana

Michael Mourra

Batman Kid

Romyn Smith

Hulk Kid

Kimberly Woods

College Girl #1

Ivar Brogger

Father Odell

Bobby Strom

Dennis (voice)

Donna Medine

Choir Member

Tracey Stephens

Church Goer

Jason Kravits

Mr. Maynard

Paul Schackman

Sandy

Charlotte Fountain-Jardim

Betheny Borgwort

Jeff Bottoms

News Anchor

Steve Callaghan

Pharmacy Employee

A.J. Rafael

Deejay

Scott Michael Campbell

Bernie Bennett

Peter Macon

Avery Lawrence

Mela Lee

Candy (voice)

Julie Nathanson

Shauna (voice)

Amanda Rea

Woman in 1-900-1HOT-BUTT Commercial

Adam Navas

Prison Guard

Darrin Revitz

Phone Sex Operator (voice)

Jordan Jarvis

Boy #1

Sam Coffelt

Boy #2

Alison Gold

Girl #1

Chelsea Campbell

Girl #2

Lauren Quinn

Party Girl #1

Sydney Gates

Party Girl #2

Claire DeJean

Party Girl #3

Michaela McManus

Charlotte Robicheck

Ross Partridge

David Robicheck

Brett Rickaby

Dr. C. Lukert

Jessica Lundy

Arlene Goldbaum

Eve Sigall

Elderly Woman

Brennan Lee Mulligan

Chris

Derek Mears

Dral'hul

Martin Klebba

Gnomish Merchant

Matt Gottlieb

Cultist

Matthew Haddad

Brent

Sebastian Schier

Ken

Alexander Vogt

Wendall

Jared Wernick

Lewis

Quinn Sullivan

Chris' Mom

John Orr

Hooded Man

Andre Hotchko

Gus

Dak-Navarro

Ogre

Eric Artell

Elf Bartender

Susan Segal

Demon's Mom (V.O.) (voice)

Taylor Sieve

Statue #1

Natalya Z

Statue #2

Juliet Fischer

Statue #3

Bella Bernath

Statue #4

Brooke Dillman

Mildred Crohn

Joe Moran

Waiter

Matthew Bellows

Mr. Donnelly

Tom Plumley

Ricky

Jordan Matlock

Employee

Nicola Lambo

Supervisor

Alec Sulkin

Jurgis

Erin Elizabeth Coleman

Customer

Colin McGurk

Customer #2

Erik Hylko

Wardrobe Assistant

Nicholas Azarian

Kenneth

Damon K. Sperber

Other Dad

Robert DuBois

Secret Service Agent

Evan Jachelski

Jock #2

Spencer Hunt

Stagehand

Ralph Garman

Voice of Stagehand (voice)

David Valdes

Male Customer

Armando Ortuño

Jock (uncredited)

Charlene deGuzman

Emily (V.O.) (voice)

Matthew Holcomb

Angry Protestor

Casey Williams

Receptionist

Noah Kaye Bentley

Joel

Sophie Swiszcz

College Girl

Asha Etchison

Half Foot

Jen Kober

Guard

Josh Archer

Officer

Phil Abrams

Judge Likins

Cali Morales

69

Wilma Rivera

Gungina

Julie Goldman

FedEx

Jeremy Ratchford

Bartender

Michael Patrick McGill

Bar Patron

Ashley Gibson

Reporter

Vincent Washington

Guy #1

Kelcey Watson

Guy #2

Elizabeth Pan

Nurse

Ellen Haun

Mom

J. D. Ingram

Nathan

Nik Dodani

Nimeet Farooq

Beth Berlin

Waitress

Adalgiza Chermont

Bitch Killer