Josh Robert Thompson

(voice) / Elijah Wood(voice) / Jaramillo Henchman (voice) / Jerry Seinfeld (voice) / Junior (voice) / Man at Bar (voice) / Morgan Freeman (voice) / Paul Rudd (voice) / Robert Stack (voice) / Security Guard (voice) / Wayne Gretzky (voice)

(voice) / (voices) / Aaron Sorkin (voice) / Danny McBride (voice) / Dennis Quaid / Tommy Lee Jones (voice) / Don Imus (voice) / Drew Carey (voice) / Elf (voice) / Garrison Keillor (voice) / James Taylor (voice) / Joe Biden (voice) / Joey Lawrence (voice) / John Davidson (voice) / John Mayer (voice) / Kevin Costner (voice) / Kevin James (voice) / Michael McDonald (voice) / Morgan Freeman (voice) / Patrick Swayze / Robert Loggia (voice) / Red Cloak (voice) / Red Redding (voice) / Samuel Alito (voice) / Sean Hannity (voice) / Steven Tyler (voice) / Tom Brady (voice) / Tommy Lee Jones (voice)

Additional Voices (voice) / Gil (voice) / Jeff Bezos / MI6 Agent (voice) / JFK Clones / Additional Voices (voice) / Ken Burns / JFK / Jimmy Fallon (voice) / Matt / Canadian Scarface (voice) / Politician (voice) / Rafe Master / Steve (voice) / Squoo / Al Gore (voice) / The Pope (voice) / Tobey Maguire / Bradley Cooper (voice)

Condom

Narrator / Additional Voices (voice)

Geoff Peterson (voice) / Morgan Freeman (voice)

Narrator (voice)

Technician (Voice)

Construction Foreman / Additional Voices (voice)

Narrator (voice)

The Feds

Spider Lieutenant / Store Employee (voice)